On fear.

Here’s an honest post. I don’t think I had ever been this aware of how full of fear I am as I am right now. I am a human FULL of fear. And it sucks. It does. It really does, because I really wasn’t this aware before. And now I just keep seeing my fear in my thoughts over and over. I’m afraid to get myself out there and showing my work (even if I try to do it anyways). I’m afraid to offer photographic sessions, even though I know I’m a great storyteller. I’m afraid while actually thinking about a session itself. I’m afraid about really being capable, about being mediocre, about getting blocked. But not only about that. I’m afraid to talk honestly with close people. I’m afraid of sending letters I’ve wrote from the inside to one that was once my best confident. I’m afraid to give my true opinion often, because people don’t want to hear it. I’m afraid of raising my voice and letting truths out. I’m afraid of wearing clothes that could make me, well, visible; any kind of clothes that are out of my comfort, plain ones. I’m afraid of getting outside of emails, of facing face-to-face situations, of talking on the phone. I’m afraid in meetings, so I often act shy and that makes me seem like a boring, not prepared person. I’m afraid of looking for a side job even if I need the job because it will involve asking and human interaction. I’m afraid of asking for help. I’m afraid of being honest. I’m afraid of creating opportunities for myself because of what it involves. I’m afraid of being weak, or worse, of looking weak. I’m actually afraid of publishing this post. BUT.

Captura de pantalla 2015-08-23 a las 13.54.54

EDIT: I just keep running into more fear wisdom:

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C.

(side note: I should probably take this course)

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